How to talk to your family and close friends about prostate cancer

WELLBEING

How to talk to your family and close friends about prostate cancer

Published June 2021

Regardless of the amount of time that has passed from your initial diagnosis, finding out your prostate cancer has progressed can still be a shock. You might feel scared, worried, stressed, helpless or even angry and you may find it difficult to express these feelings to your loved ones. Everyone has their own way of dealing with cancer but there’s no need to feel alone. Sharing what you are thinking with your family can really help alleviate some of the worries you may all have.

How to talk to your family and close friends about prostate cancer

It’s usually easiest to start with the person you feel closest to, such as a relative or close friend. Before your conversation, you could try the following:

Make a list of points you want to share the first time you speak with your family or close friend (you might feel comfortable opening up about everything) the details of the cancer you have, what treatments you’ve been on and your outlook or prognosis. On the other hand, you might not feel ready to talk about anything and that’s ok too. However much or little you want to share, making a plan beforehand can help the conversation flow a little easier on the day.
Think about the setting in which you’ll have your conversation – it might be helpful to find somewhere quiet, comfortable and familiar to you both, like your living room, garden or even your local coffee shop.
Make a list of other people who are close to you that you’d like to speak with in person – depending on how old they are, you may need to prepare different approaches to these conversations.

Answering questions and giving details

Sometimes those that care about you may ask lots of questions about your cancer. Although this might feel uncomfortable, remember it’s because they care and want to help by understanding more. If you feel overwhelmed by their questions or concerns, it’s ok to say something like, “I’d prefer not to go into the details right now” and you could arrange to talk another time.

It can be emotionally exhausting to repeat details of your illness to everyone who is concerned about you. Some people find it easier to send group family text messages or emails to keep their loved ones up to date. Alternatively, you might want to ask a family member or friend to be your spokesperson so that they can answer questions for you when you don’t feel up to it.

If you’re not ready to talk

Some people find that they would just rather get on with life and carry on with their normal, day-to-day things. While this might feel like a good way of coping at first, not talking about cancer could cause problems after a while and it may become more difficult to make decisions about your health and treatment. If you do not feel ready to talk, you could prepare what to say if people ask how you are, for example, “Thank you for asking how I am, I’ll let you know when I feel ready to talk”.

You might find it easier to talk to someone you don’t know. There are many support organisations that offer one-to-one support with trained nurses or volunteers. They can also put you in touch with other patients who have been there and have faced similar challenges.

SOURCES:

American Cancer Society. Telling others about your cancer. Available at  https://www.cancer.org/treatment/understanding-your-diagnosis/telling-others-about-your-cancer.html. Accessed October 2025.
Macmillan Cancer Support. Talking about your cancer diagnosis. Available at  https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/diagnosis/talking-about-cancer/talking-about-cancer. Accessed October 2025.

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